Actually, one more post tonight.

It's almost 2am!  My favourite time to be awake has always been from 2am-4am.  It's the most beautiful time of the day/night, and I try to get every chance I can to be up in these hours, especially outside enjoying the night.  

Which brings me to a few other fundamental interests of mine-

I'm going to leave out the things everybody always says like movies, music(although it's my main interest), etc, etc and get down to the real stuff people tend to forget. 

Aggression, hate, generosity, violence, compassion, love, insomnia, nightmares, dreams, affection, pale skin, veins, blood, natural beauty, nature, sweet smells, soft hands, depression, euphoria, sadness, sleeplessness, relaxation, exhilaration, adrenaline, infatuation, excitement, rooftops, climbing, accents, cultures, acceptance, death, destruction.  

People often fail to realize that without having the presence of negatives in addition to positives we wouldn't know how to enjoy life.  (But don't take me wrong, I still see negative things as awful.)

My favourite thing in the entire world is the affectionate presence of a female.  Just anything from smiles to holding and cuddling somebody.  Anybody who is close to me knows that I crave affection.  I'm at my happiest when cuddled up with somebody, and am pretty sure I could spend the rest of my life in a scenario like that.  

I don't think I would be able to know this about myself if I hadn't experienced times of harsh loneliness.  Sometimes it takes an instance such as that to come to a revelation about yourself that makes you feel closer to your own personality.  As I've mentioned before, one of the most important things you can do is to feel comfortable with yourself; love yourself.  If at times you feel like you could be better, or feel self pity, don't ignore that feeling, try to fix it. Motivation is sometimes hard to grasp or generate, but I think everybody has the capacity to get up and change their lives to fulfill themselves.  Don't let yourself ever get bored with life.  If you have interests, peruse them, and rejoice in the things that you enjoy.

I understand depression and listlessness.  I understand ennui and gloom.  Everybody experiences these lows.  But nobody should feel hopeless; take comfort in your familiar interests, and use that to expand them to things unfamiliar to you, new things to enjoy.  There is an infinite amount of things you can do with your life, don't neglect the things that you want to do.  Take pictures, write a story, draw a picture, write letters, paint, listen to new music, lay in the grass, have a real conversation, talk to new people.  Never EVER take for granted anybody who loves you.  Do what makes you happy, and don't be embarrassed to love anything (or anyone), despite what other people's opinions.

I want to travel anywhere I can to collect as many memories as possible.  Read my "I want to join the circus entry".. it describes this a little more.  Get the fuck up and do the things you've always thought doing.

I don't know how this entry took this sudden turn to a motivational speech, but I don't often get to relate the deeper things that I think about to people.  Hope some of that up there makes sense.

You are free, I promise

Goodnight children

-J.78.

Tonight

I bought blank CDs.

I downloaded many new albums.

I contemplated many things.

I'm excited for going to Georgia for Thanksgiving!  I can't wait to get away from St. Augustine for a week or so, and spend some time with Waggaman and Wendell.  It should be quite the adventure.  We're going to go camping in the mountains, shoot guns, tell dirty jokes, and do whatever else men do.  

I've been in a bit of an emotional rut, and I think this will help out.  Spending all weekend hanging out with Bill, Luis and Daniel made for pretty good times;  So I think this coming weekend up in Georgia should make for some as well.

I've been contemplating whether to stop perusing a few things that have been a more or less negative impact on my life right now.  No, don't worry, I'm not doing coke.

Anyway, Fog Dance, My Moth Kingdom

and goodnight children

-J.78.

Learn to love yourself.

Do it.

-J.

78.

I want to join the circus.

I've been considering life and job opportunities lately, and have decided I never want to live a mundane and normal life.  All day I've been searching the internet for Florida/traveling circus employment opportunities.  No I'm not joking.  This summer it would be a dream to work in a circus and even get to travel around the United States doing so.  I would be able to make a bit of money for school next year, and I think have a pretty ridiculous life experience.

There are a lot of things I want to do before I die. 

Live in at least 5 countries.

Help run a zoo.

Become a monk for a year or so.

Travel the United States in a circus.

Sell my possessions, buy a motorcycle, and drive across the United States.

Help anybody I can.

Tour with musicians.

Anything that is unusual, exciting or unique.  I'm not going to sit at a desk for the rest of my life.  I want to take every opportunity presented to me to do something fascinating.

My goal in life is to have incredible stories to tell.  If this were to all go to plan, I would really enjoy writing a book of my experiences.  I think it would be amazing having enough unique experiences to write a book that people would actually be interested in reading.

I always envy anybody who has incredible stories of traveling and anything unique or outstanding that they've experienced.  

I hope I have great stories to tell.

Goodnight children

-Seventy-Eight

Sitting in a Hallway

Here I am once again sitting in the hallway next to the A1A Ale House restaurant using their free wifi to download music.  I've grown quite accustom to this bench.

Lets seee, between last night and this afternoon I've downloaded A Belphegor album, two Venetian Snares albums, a Burial album, Cradle of Filth's new album, and TraktorDJStudio3.

TraktorDJStudio3 is the shiiit.  It's DJ software that basically emulates two turntables and a mixer.  I've been messing around with it a ton since I've got it.. it's way too much fun.  And it makes me want to buy turntables even more now.. I've been deadset on buying a pair of Staton tables for awhile.  Somebody give me $600 please.

Aside from all that, I've become even more addicted to dubstep than I previously was.  It seems like hardly anybody ever knows what I'm talking about when I mention dubstep.  It's a genre of music that has evolved from UK garage, and is mainly known in the London underground music scene.  However it's becoming a little more popular now, I'm pretty excited about that.

Dubstep is heavily bass driven, with a really distinct wobbly sound.  It has some roots in drum'n'bass and jungle, but a much slower tempo with a less chaotic sound, it's really very chill.  

This is quite possibly my current favourite dubstep track at the moment. 

It's a great track, Nero is pretty damn incredible. 

If you can dig on that, I'd advise you to check out a few dubstep mixes

Here's one of my favourite mixes right now

Download it right here- http://barefiles.com/?id=3295

Alright. I guess that's all for now. 

Since we're on the topic of dubstep

keep it bare safe, ez, big ups, etc.

-J

Home

Back home for the first time in 2 months

Fuck driving for 11 hours.

Goodnight children

-J

A little music discussion

It's about 1:15am, quite a nice night.  Sitting outside with my computer and the chilly air.

Here at the college they block torrent usage and most P2P activity.  This has been the bain of my existence the past couple months, as I rely on torrents to get most of my music.  I basically need a constant stream of new and interesting music to live, mind you.  So recently I've been trying to find other places with internet access to obtain my music.  I've tried walking over to the Casa Monica hotel across the street a few times, but I seem to get locked out of the internet there after about a minute of my torrent program being open.  I guess they block IPs that are using up a ton of bandwidth.  

So last night I went on a free wi-fi hunt, walking around downtown St. Augustine.  I found myself propping my computer up on garbage cans, postage boxes and all sorts of things while out there.  Finally I got down to the corner of A1A and King street and found out that the A1A Ale House has a free internet service.

And I must say, A1A Ale House, you are my savior.  Thank you.

Although their internet blocked websites like Megaupload, Rapidshare, and all torrent file sites the simple use of a proxy fixed that problem.  And it turned out they had no actual block on torrent downloading activity, just the websites.

Anyway, I downloaded 7 albums last night, and have listened to each of them about twice since I got them.

So I figured I'd post up a few good albums that I've been enjoying recently

These three albums are linked from http://strictlybeats.blogspot.com/  so all credit goes to them, I didn't upload them myself.

Suhov - Sympathy Modul

It's a nice hip-hop/downtempo/breakbeat instrumental album with a strong jazz/funk/soul influence

Check it out here! 

K u r i s o u l - Autumn Colors

This is straight down-tempo trip-hop, it's smooth and relaxing with lots of melody.

Download it here

Guts - Le Bienheureux

Great album from Guts, hip-hop/down-tempo/experimental with a ton of great sampling.  Definitely a strong funk/soul feeling to it.

Right click here - Save As 

So yea, there are 3 great albums on the trip-hop instrumental tip that I've been bumping.  Definitely get my top recommendations. Especially the Suhov and Guts.

Music has always been one of the largest driving factors in my life, if not the single most influential thing to me.  It's really a battle between that and visual art. 

Visual art has always been incredibly important to me, but it can't always put me in the emotional state that hearing certain music can.  

Despite all this I've never been able to really focus on making my own music, as much as it influences me to think and express myself the ways I do.  I've always been much better at drawing or painting or anything else in that zone.  I'm completely sure if I had the chance I would immediately give up all my artistic skill for music talent.

But I'm pretty sure chances like that don't actually happen. Though I could try selling my soul to the devil Robert Johnson style.

Anyway. I'll keep giving my best shot at it I guess. I think I'll pick up the guitar again and keep trying to play.  Get my mandolin back out and drop some melodies. 

We'll see how it comes along.

But now that we've got all that out of the way, it's time to talk about tonight's real topic of importance. Spousal abuse.

Just kidding.

Goodnight children.

-J

Scraps

My internet went out this morning, and having nothing else to do I started sorting through the random files on my computer.  I came across a few different things that have been written to me over the past year or so that have held some sort of meaning, so I figured why not share some of them, maybe anybody reading can pull some interest or significance from them as well.

To start off we have an excerpt of something my graffiti writer friend Moze2 once wrote me.  Moze is a pretty abstract guy and always has something interesting to say.  This was written to me shortly before I had to intervene in his attempted suicide.  Moze is doing better these days and lives in Atlanta. 

"Nirvana can be a beautiful place even if it is in the room of a 17 year old law breaking loser. it mmade me think. i dont want to be herre. i want to live in the woods far away from everyone. my dream day changed at the moment. i no longer wanted to be in the city for that one pperfect day. i wanted to be, on the outside of a tent. in october while its raining. the water hitting the tent like little angry fists shunning its existance. then falling off the tent and landing in a puddle next to my head. im laying on my back staring straight up but no water hits my eyes and i'm... happy. ha. i havent a care in the world on that one day... not my wet clothes. not the temperature. nothing. am i that close to insanity."

Haven't spoken to him in awhile. I think I'll write him later today.

Next we have a poem written to me by Sarah.  It's sweet :]

We live in a world of robots. 

Mechanized, well oiled machines.

Inside, gears turn, perpetuated in metal aesthetics--

yes, we live in a world of clones.

Each face baring the same plastic smile, each laugh empty, and every breath, the same.

And then, there is you. 

Made of flesh, and bone, and sinew.

Warm, and full of life.

You, with a mind like the ocean.

And a heart as warm as the sun.

You, in your skin. In your smile.

And even your flaws. Making you...

More perfect than robotically possible.

This next one is written by Joshua Neil Geissler.  A little background is required for this.  Joshua Geissler is a musician, under the name Worrytrain.  When I first heard his music I enjoyed it quite a lot, and after listening to it for a few weeks I decided to write him.  So I sent him quite a long message via Myspace telling him I appreciated the music and so on.  He replied with a message asking me for my address.  A few weeks later I received a package in the mail with a few albums, and a handwritten letter.  Me and Joshua have kept in touch since them, he's a very deep and introspective person.  Check him out at these places-

http://www.worrytrain.com

http://www.myspace.com/worrytrain

Here is the letter he wrote me, I tried to type it out exactly how it's written, copying the capitalization and punctuation as he wrote it.

Jackson, sorry I could not fit more inside This package.

Thank you again for writing me. Because I wouldn't know.

There is no way for me to know even if I Really wanted To If people

listen to it on a Regular Basis or if it affects anyones Life. I Just do it.

Because I cannot stop doing it

Just like we did not chose to be born. but we were.

Collecting things I know to be true

or atleast probable i should say.

I shouldn't use Truth lightly.

anywheres Here we are.

trying to know things. to understand our own Life experience.

Man in A chair at the bottom of

the ocean

Sorting drugs from Natural Feelings

Goodnight children.

-J

Here we are.

Well.  I did it, I've created my own blog.  

I've never necessarily had the intent or drive to start writing in any creative or public fashion. 

But after some prodding by a certain individual (you know who you are) I've decided to give it a shot none-the-less.  So hopefully I'll try to ramble about things that are semi-interesting for anybody that will be viewing.  

Basically at the moment this is just for me to try to get some free-writing practice in.  I think I'll occasionally post up links to music from some of my favourite Blogspot sites like StrictlyBeats, and anything else that interests me.  Or I'll just talk about the senseless things that come to my mind.. in any case we'll see how far I get on this endeavor. Wish me luck.